"Taquitos"

You will not find this in ANY cookbook ANYWHERE! This recipe is home-grown and a major family favorite! My mom says that my grandma (my dad's mom) taught her how to make this...my grandma says she has no idea what my mom is talking about! Frankly, considering the mental status of both of these ladies...it's a toss-up! Who really knows?? 
These are not "taquitos" like you are used to.
This is "mexican" style hamburger meat wrapped in an rice paper (like an eggroll) and fried! Strange and delicious and FRIED!!!
I am not sure that this is technically "mexican food"...no self respecting latino/a would make this for their grandma.
It's certainly not "chinese food"...though without the rice paper this dish would not be the same!
I think I'll deem it "mexinese" or "chinexican"...either way your gonna love it!
These are very often the requested meal at my mom's house...and when she makes them she makes at least 40!  We have a big family but more than that we have big appetites...shameful really!

Note* You must know that at MY house...I cannot cook this for dinner without making ranch dressing.  Out of the packet...not out of the bottle.  It is mandatory!

Note2* I have also adapted the original recipe (whom-ever's recipe it was) to accommodate my American need for processed cheese.  Stop crinkling your nose!  YOU don't have to add cheese...but...it's go-od!

You're gonna need:
Enough oil or crisco to deep fry (not pictured)

OK...you don't really need him for this recipe, but he is WAY cuter than the pile of raw hamburger I had pictured for you!  He represents 2 lbs of ground beef.

Salsa de Jalapeno...you could use any old hot sauce you wish...but my momma uses this.  Even though my grandmother denies any knowledge of this recipe, I bet she used her own homemade hot sauce...she's that type.  I only use approx. 1/3 of this little can, but my family is a bunch of wimps!  Use as much as you can get away with.

Egg Roll Wraps (rice papers)...I use one whole package plus about 1/2 of another.  THESE HAVE TO BE FRESH! Trust me on this...if they are old or have been frozen then they will tear, you will burn yourself, which will make you will suffer from a lack of desire to make these again and that would just be tragic!!  You can usually find the rice papers flitting about the fresh vegetable section ( I find they get moved about alot).

VELVEETA!  Totally optional.  If my momma came for dinner I would NOT make them this way...she would FREAK! But I'm a grown adult and if I want to add cheese to the recipe I will! Don't tell her!

STOP!  Before you make another move...make the ranch!  The longer in the fridge the better...the flavors fall in love, get married, and have babies in like 30 minutes.



Start the hamburger second...season with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and lots and lots of chili powder! 

When the meat is browned at the jalapeno salsa.

Cut up your cheese!  This would be great with some cheddar too...think I will try that next time!  Don't cut the cheese to large...a dab will do ya!

I start heating my oil at this point because I can roll these babies pretty fast...if your oil is ready before you IT'S OKAY! Take it off of the heat or simply turn it down...you can heat it back up when your ready.

I don't usually do this but I reckon' it's what you SHOULD do since it makes it 40x easier.  Ani Pate is mixin' up an egg wash...doesn't she look thrilled?!  Egg wash is just an egg with a splash of water...all mixed up.  This will seal the paper to itself so the filling will stay inside. 

Let's rock and ROLL our taquitos!  Do not let this intimidate you...it is very simple.  The only requirement is to tuck the paper into itself so that there is not an avenue for the meat to escape...so I guess it's a "tuck and roll." Lay the rice paper on the diagonal.

If you are cheesin' it up...put it on now.  It needs to lay in this directions due the way we are going to roll.

Place 2 spoonfuls of meat in the center over the cheese...a little less than a 1/4 of a cup if I had to guess.  I have to laugh at myself now because I had to photograph this 2x times...when I did it the first time I rolled it wrong.  I was putting too much thought into showing you guys how to do it...when I put the camera down and started wrapping the 2nd one I realized that I don't naturally wrap it the way I pictured.  THIS is correct!  Fold the bottom point up and over the meat.
*Note: the meat is in a big pile in the middle instead of spread out like you would typically do an eggroll...which means that these taquitos are short and fat instead of long and skinny...it is the way  it is supposed to be done...DON'T CHANGE IT!  It WILL change the taste...I'm certain!

Next fold the left OR right side in...I do the left but I suppose it's because I'm left handed.  Just do what "feels right!"

Now the side that doesn't "feel right!"

Roll from the bottom up....but WAIT!

This is where you will brush the paper with the egg wash.

Okay...now you can finish rolling! It should be good and tight!

I roll all of mine before I start cooking...my mom rolls as she cooks...frankly...I don't like the pressure!

Listen to that sizzle!  As always when frying make sure that you oil is hot enough...I do this by putting a little piece of something in (flour, little piece of meat, maybe a corner of the rice paper)...it should bubble immediately and float to the top!  350* if you have a thermometer...med to med/high heat on the stove.

I know that pan over crowding is a big no no, however, the more of these in the pan the better.  This is why...once you put them in the oil, the top side that is not submerged puffs with air and it is almost impossible to get them to flip and stay.  If you have several in the pot, they touch each other and keep their position better...like taquito peer pressure.  You may still have to hold some of them to brown the top side...they are a little like children...some do as their told...some look at you, roll their eyes, and roll back over.  So rebellious!  I find a pair of tongs is best to lower the taquitos in the oil, as well as to flip them and take them out.

While your first batch is frying up...get a dish and paper towels ready to drain.

How good do those look??!!  I serve this with refried beans that I re-refried with some bacon grease and chili powder!  A salad would be nice to go along with the ranch...but that is not really my families style...we just have ranch (it is it's own side dish).