Cookie Confessions

I typically keep an open eye out for my next significant blog topic...you know?...one that is informative, touching, or matters in some irrelevant way. But today...today I just thought I would make everyone a little more comfortable with their humanity.
I LOVE THIN MINT GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!! More than that...I love to freeze said cookies!
Today I was dead on my feet...I mean...MY DOGS WERE BARKIN' (my feet were hurtin'...in case you aren't sure what that meant!) It was one heck of a long day at work, only to come home to 2 red cheeked sick boys...I knew this meant it would be an equally long night. It was 6 o'clock...time to start dinner (I am very predictable). I opened the freezer hoping to find Emeril Lagasse with a gourmet heat and eat. Nope! The wind of hope left my sails, but only for a brief moment...just as quickly I hear something hit the kitchen floor. Distracted suddenly from my disappointment...I look down...and AHHHHH (do you hear the high pitch choir singers with the bright spotlight??)...that lovely silver sleeve of girl scout cookies! I non-chalantly pick up the goodies...examine the package...open the package...eat one single cookie. I put them back in their designated spot and closed the freezer door. Moments later I realized that I still had no dinner plan. I opened the freezer door again hoping to find Rachel Ray whippin' up a 30 minute meal...Nope! But low and behold, an all too familiar sound...those darn cookies...on the floor again! "Interesting"...I think to myself. I pick up the cookies..examine the package...glance at their "spot" in the freezer...back at the package...eat 2 cookies. I put them back and close the freezer door. At this point it's ALMOST a game! And I STILL haven't decided on dinner! I open the freezer door hoping to find Paula Dean...oh please...who am I kidding...I was hoping the cookies would fall out again. THEY DID! Scouts honor...no pun intended! Ok, now I'm intrigued and I think to myself..."Self, what are the odds that these cookie would fall out of the freezer 3x in a row...you are supposed to eat these cookies...IT'S A SIGN!" I reached down and picked up the cookies...examine the package...glance at their "spot" in the freezer...back at the package...look around the room...eat 3 cookies. I put them back and close the freezer door. My day is rapidly getting better! I attempted to fool myself into believing that I wasn't going to open the freezer again...I opened the refrigerator door, scanned the contents, pretended to look for another dinner idea, & just as quickly I close the door. Hoping for the element of surprise on the cookies (and to ensure their eminent tumble) I yanked open the freezer door...SCORE! I picked up the cookies...examine the package...glance at their "spot" in the freezer...back at the package...look around the room...sit on the kitchen floor..eat 4 cookies...swig some milk straight out of the carton...finished the cookies. It was, after all, their destiny!
Don't look at me like that! You know you've polished off 15 cookies in one sitting...or a whole bag of chips...an entire pizza...SOMETHING gluttonous and shameful! That is why I shared my sordid saga...so that my edacous friends no longer have to hide their dirty little secret EATcapades! Do it with pride...puff out your chest and/or your belly, whichever is bigger at this point...and proclaim...
Well, on second thought, maybe this is not such a proud moment! But at least you know that you are not alone in your endeavours. Out there somewhere, someone else is devouring a days worth of calories on useless carbs in the privacy of their home, behind closed doors, on the kitchen floor too!!
By the way...By the time I finished my "snack"...it was too late to cook...I ordered out!